As I looked at my beautiful ivory box that sat in my closet, I thought about all the grief and letters of love that sat in that box. I thought about the desire to bring comfort, the pain in all the writings and the memory of who and what we loss. As I stared at the box memories from over two years ago came flooding in like a river!
I touched the box and began to think…maybe I should just leave it on the shelf.
My desire was to reuse this beautiful ivory box for my wedding. I thought the ease of re-use would be so much easier than the flood of emotions that may drown me.
I thought it was easier than I expected.
I opened the box and dug my hands in the box to only pull out what felt like hundreds of cards. I stared at the pile on my bed and thought, I can’t run into a burning building again! I hesitated for a few moments and then a soft whisper came over me and said “you can do this, you are stronger.”
I opened the box and I began to open these cards and tears began to stream down my face, the love and pain sprung up like geysers! I began to think the building is burning and I am inhaling the smoke. I needed to just breathe. And I asked sweet Jesus… “you told me I could do this, don’t let me down now Jesus.” You see many times you need to take hold of your emotions and not allow them to govern you… bring your fears, your doubts, and sorrows to Jesus don’t allow the enemy to make you believe that you are not able to heal! Yes you can!!!
In a few moments I began to smile and focus on the love and support of so many people. Going through these cards began to be easier!
I still don’t know the whys but I trust the Healer! I began to place the cards of love and prayers in another box.. my God Box (my book will tell you about this box, stay tuned). I prepared my Ivory Box for the big day! My new beginning day… Our Wedding Day!
As the big day approached the venue began to be filled with family and friends that through thick and thin wanted to support and love us! Cards began to fill the ivory box once more. But these were not cards of love and pain blended together, nope! These were cards of love and joy. Cards filled with hopes and blessings for our new beginning!
When we got back from our honeymoon, we sat down and began to go through all these cards and tears no longer ran down my face, now only a smile sat on my face.. the smile that the enemy tried to once steel. That Cristina smile now lives again!