Have you ever encountered the feeling of rejection at some point in your life? I believe so. We all have quite honestly. We don’t get picked for the team, we don’t get invited to the party, we are not selected for the job/promotion we wanted, the person who we thought would be “the one” ended the relationship. Rejection, rejection, rejection. I believe that everyone encounters rejection at some point in life and maybe even more than once in life. If you are anything like me, I can’t stand to be rejected. I believe that is one of the areas that I struggle with the most. I rather reject than be rejected. That last statement is such a bold statement and yet has so much depth.
Let’s be transparent here, and I pray that someone reading this can relate and even self-reflect on their actions and ways. I rather be the one to reject something or someone as a result of maybe feeling the fear of being rejected myself. I can’t stand to feel rejected – it peeves me. If I can avoid it at all costs, then so be it. Even if it was only a fear of the “what if” and not the reality of actually being rejected. I rarely allow myself to even get to the point of rejection, the prevention method kicks in and I do my best to reject before feeling rejected.
A remember some time ago, I made a bold attempt to extend an invitation to an individual and right before the time of the event, the individual cancelled. I was upset, to be quite honest. I was baffled that someone rejected MY invitation! I first said to myself, “it is what it is” and then I started to think – yep I allowed my emotions to govern my way of thinking, how can someone have the audacity!! NEVER AGAIN I said to myself and then it began. I started to close myself off and I began to retract like the turtle. I pulled back into my shell to avoid any type of pain or any communication and all I want to do is guard myself. I avoided conversation and tried to act normal, but inside I was still very upset because once again rejection hurts and I couldn’t fathom that someone rejected me. Let’s go deeper, I was upset that I even placed myself in the situation to be rejected. I am honest here. Can someone relate?
The feeling of rejection is not the best feeling – it doesn’t make you all happy and giddy inside – nope, rejection hurts. Depending on what the situation is rejection can really leave some deep war scars which can eventually tell a really interesting story. It can truly alter your perspective and even your behavior. You can begin to doubt and retract. You can even begin to change who you are due to the fact that you were rejected. For some, don’t get me wrong, change is healthy and of edification but for some change may be destructive. It’s good when you say because of the rejection I will try harder, I will better myself, I will find ways to improve and change (only if there are things you need to change), I will try again or maybe “that really wasn’t for me and I am okay with that”. For others they change in such a negative way that they don’t let anyone in after the incident of rejection. They build a huge wall of defense where no one or nothing is allowed to get through – sometimes not even Jesus! They fight, they grow bitter, they are just filled with so much pain that the effect of rejection has truly governed their life.
For my father and my mother have forsaken me, But the LORD will take me up. Psalm 27:10
Thank God that Jesus has never rejected you nor me. But begin to reflect, have we rejected Him? Have we been the one on the other side of the table rejecting Jesus and His will for us. His dreams, His desires, His ways? The feeling of rejection hurts but are we the one doing all the rejecting here in our relationship with Him? Are we retracting when Jesus didn’t tell us too? When He disciplines us or permits for certain things in life to occur are we retracting? Are we like Elijah running into a cave due to the fear of what MAY happen versus what will happen?