Many people have asked me, “How do you do it?” and my answer has always been…Jesus. Jesus is truly the one that has sustained me through all of these changes in my life. And believe me that did not start from the evening of the accident. It actually started from the very beginning of my relationship with Him. It always has been Jesus that has sustained my coming and my goings.
“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Psalm 139:16
When I welcomed Jesus into my life over 20 years ago and truly made the commitment to serve Him, something changed inside of me. Something changed in the way that I reasoned and in the way that I viewed situations. My perspective in life just changed. I understood that it was not me that fashioned my days but it was Jesus. He governs the days that I walk on this earth, however many are left only He knows. In understanding that part, I must also understand that I am not able to manipulate God into what these fashioned days will look like. I do not have control over this beautiful thing called life especially life with Jesus. He gives and He takes and I have no control over that. Do I have choices in how I will deal with each storm – Yes. And the choice that I make cannot be so selfish that I cause an abandonment in all that the Lord has in store for me. He is the one that fashions my days so my heart’s desire should be – What do you want from me Jesus? How can I make it through this time of celebration? How can I make it through this time of mourning? How do I overcome the feeling of depression, loneliness, abandonment? How so shift past the memories or nightmares and laugh again with peace? How do I wake up another day and have the perspective of a fighter and not a victim?
It was interesting, I remember I was at the gym last week and after the workout one of my workout buddies approached me and said “you know Cristina I admire you a lot. I truly don’t know how you do it. I see you on social media and you are a Pastor and a Mom and the list goes on… how do you do it?” I said “Jesus”. That has always been my answer and will always be my answer, but there was something that he said that followed my answer that I have never heard before. What he said truly made me think… He said “yes but remember – You allow Him to AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS”. I stopped and just stared at him and allowed that to just soak in to my spirit for a couple of minutes. I thanked him and went home. That statement was marinating in my spirit the whole morning, so much that it allowed me to incorporate that into my sermon at convention that afternoon. God’s timing is always perfect!
There are so many stories out there from people that have encountered tragedies or have been dealt the worse cards, and many of them do not survive the storm. We are now hearing of so many tragedies on the radio, TV, and different channels of communication where folks are committing suicide due to depression, people taking lives because in their minds if they are not able to be happy no one can. I stop and think what went wrong? Why am I able to keep fighting day in and day out and not lose my mind? (let me tell you I came so close) What was my turning point – what was my prevention method?
Jesus, my worship, and my will to fight.
The more you allow Jesus to be the ultimate peace and comfort in your life, the more you can find a reason to continue to live as a fighter. You can walk this earth like a zombie, just barely getting by and functioning just to function and have people see you in this “OK” state of mindset or… you can fight. You can make the decision to stop licking your wounds and live AGAIN. I mean really live again, just like my previous blog talks about. A genuine smile, a genuine laugh and genuine life! Do you open yourself to feel a genuine peace? Do you will for the Father to truly be a Father for you? Do you allow Jesus to take you through each season in your life or are you the captain of the ship?
At the end of the day there is a decision that needs to be made.. Do you allow Him to work in those areas that matter most? Do you surrender everything to accept His plans and not your plans?
Cristina you truly have a way with words and putting things into perspective! Your posts make me smile, nod in agreement, and make me cry because they hit home. Yes you do have Jesus that continues to push you forward as he does me but we allow him to and we choose to be happy and live again. I love you deeply and admire you in a way that I don’t think I have admired anyone else. Your a true leader and Angel who lights the path for so many. I pray that HE continues to work in your heart and continue pushing you to greatness! May God continue blessing you today and always! I send you many hugs and kisses.
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Love you Jenn! Thank you and amen!